Today was my last day of work for a year.
Man, doing new things is hard.
A year-long family sabbatical always sounded like a great idea when it was just that: an idea. Back then it was all excitement and possibility. Now that we’re actually pulling it off, the doubts and nerves are starting to creep in.
This trip is the culmination of years of discussions, dreams, research, planning, and spreadsheets. But there are so many unknowns and moving parts that I’m certain reality won’t unfold the way we’ve imagined it. That’s probably not a surprise to anyone. Still, it’s a little scary. And exciting? I feel like I should be excited. Deep down, I know I am. But at the moment, nervousness is definitely winning out.
When our sabbatical was still years away, it was easy to look ahead with longing. We fantasized about destinations, adventures, and food. Thousands of our conversations began with, “On our travels we will…”
…take a boat.
…ride trains.
…get more exercise.
…spend more time together.
…experience other cultures.
…try new foods.
…be our kids’ teachers.
…slow down.
Any fears or downsides could be safely pushed into the distant future. Not so much anymore. With only a few weeks until departure, this whole thing is getting very real.
So this post is about all the perfectly normal emotions that even a travel-loving family experiences just before a major life upheaval.
The Fears of a Planner
Most of my fears revolve around the planning. What if I spelled someone’s name wrong on a flight reservation and we aren’t allowed to board? What if one of the accommodations I booked turns out to be terrible or unsafe? What if I somehow forgot to book a flight? What if I’ve missed something important: a visa requirement, a vaccine, travel insurance, a phone plan, a restriction I didn’t know about? What if I was a little too ambitious when choosing our relatively tiny bags for a year of travel, and we’re all miserable because we don’t have enough shirts? What if everyone ends up lonely? What if spending so much time together drives us all insane?
When those thoughts show up, I try to counter them with different questions. What if everything goes okay? What if this adventure turns out to be every bit as amazing as we’ve imagined? What if we become more resilient and learn to adapt to whatever comes our way? What if we grow closer as a family? And when that strategy isn’t working? Well, then I usually end up scrolling social media and watching videos of families who seem to be travelling the world quite happily.
The Fears of the Injury-Prone
Justin doesn’t scare easily.
In a crisis, he’s the calm one looking for solutions. He trusts my planning, even when I don’t. He’s also very good at reminding me that there is usually a solution to every problem if you’re willing to look (and sometimes pay a little extra) for it.
His biggest concern isn’t missed flights or forgotten reservations. It’s getting injured. As we’ve gotten older, recovery takes longer than it used to. Over the past few years, Justin has struggled with recurring foot and ankle issues. Just a few months ago, he spent nearly three weeks on and off crutches after twisting his ankle on a walk. He always recovers eventually, but during those times a lot of the responsibility shifts onto me, especially when even getting out of bed becomes difficult. It’s scary to realize how quickly a simple activity and a bit of bad luck can take you out of commission. On the plus side, Justin has by far the strongest stomach in the family. So while the rest of us are recovering from some questionable street food, he’ll probably be the one happily asking for seconds.
Worries of a Seven-Year-Old
Our seven-year-old daughter is incredibly excited about this trip. Honestly, I wish I had some of her optimism. She trusts completely that we’re going to have an amazing time and that any problems will immediately be handled by a higher power… namely Mom and Dad.
She’s been surprisingly resilient about saying goodbye to her friends for a year, with promises of letters, video calls, and staying in touch. Like me, Emmalyn can be shy when meeting new people. I think she’s a little nervous about constantly being surrounded by strangers and having to make new friends everywhere we go. Thankfully, Isabel’s boldness and outgoing nature tends to complement Emmalyn’s hesitation.
And one of Emmalyn’s sweetest worries is actually about her sister. The scale of this trip is hard for anyone to grasp, and Emmalyn takes her role as big sister, teacher, mentor, and protector very seriously. She’s genuinely concerned about how Isabel will manage.
We’ve tried to reassure her that making sure Isabel is okay isn’t her responsibility. That’s our job. If we all work together to remind Izzy that she’s safe, loved, and surrounded by family, we can handle whatever comes our way.
She also has a very specific concern of dropping something overboard during our month-long cruise. I’m not entirely sure where this fear came from… but there’s a reasonable chance we’ll be spending a month standing a respectful distance from the railings.
Our Fearless Five-Year-Old
Recently someone told Isabel, “You must be so excited for your big trip!” Without missing a beat, she responded: “I DON’T KNOW WHAT’S HAPPENING!” Honestly, that pretty much sums up her approach. Where Emmalyn has asked questions, studied maps, listened carefully, and tried to mentally prepare herself, Izzy has decided she’s perfectly comfortable diving headfirst into the unknown. She’s carrying exactly one responsibility into this adventure: making sure her stuffed animal, Lambie, comes along for the ride. And Lambie seems pretty relaxed about the whole situation. Izzy is ready for anything. She’ll bring her energy, courage, curiosity, and silliness to every corner of the world without spending even a moment worrying about what could go wrong.
The end of an era and the start of something new always feels bittersweet. Even when it’s something you’ve wanted for years. Even when it’s an incredible opportunity. Even when it’s an adventure.
Today I closed my laptop, walked out of work, and stepped into a year of uncertainty. That’s both terrifying and wonderful. I am deeply grateful for the opportunity to do something like this, and even more grateful for the people I get to do it with.
I’m sure there will be days when we all need a little space from one another. There will be missed flights, wrong turns, frustrating moments, and unexpected challenges. But there will also be sunsets, laughter, discoveries, train rides, new friends, and memories we can’t yet imagine. And at the end of the day, I can’t think of anyone I’d rather leap into the unknown with than my favorite people.
So here we go.
